The old fashioned way

Posted on Wednesday October 13th, 2021 @ 11:50am by Gunnery Sergeant Maximilian Pfaffenheim & Commander Sam Perkins

1,376 words; about a 7 minute read

Mission: S1-A1-Ep. 1: Spectrophobia
Location: Mess Hall

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- Mess Hall -

With the replicators off line and those that were. To dangerous to use as they seemed to wish to harm him. Perkins decided that the next meal he was going to eat. Would be cooked by his own hand. His grandmother had taught him how to cook. His gran did not like the replicator food slot. Calling it an excuse to be lazy. Most of her recipes were plant based. She showed him how to flavour a vegetable stew. So unless you knew it’s contents. Anyone would believe it had meat in it.

Perkins fancied making some non beef stew. The science labs were no place for cooking a taster feast. So he took all his utensils and ingredients to the mess hall. Once he had permission to cook in the Mess Hall. Perkins quickly set everything up. He began to chop up the vegetables and add them to a pot of seasoned water. That was simmering gently on an old fashioned stove he had set up.

Several crew members were watching him including an old friend.

"Lieutenant Commander.", Pfaffenheim greeted Perkins with a salute. He mustered the stove setup and raised an eyebrow. "Well, that's one way to use lab equipment.", the Staff Sergeant commented. He wasn't much one for cooking the food himself, though he'd done it a few times over the years - if you could call heating prepackaged sandwiches over a fire in the middle of survival excercise 'cooking', that is. "How's the soup coming along?"

Perkins smiled.

“ Pfaffenheim my old friend good to see you again. Actually this is a non beef stew or to give it the full title. Granny Sally’s non beef stew for all occasions. What with the replicator system turned lethal at the moment. I thought we could all do with a good dose of the real thing. Please take a bowl it should be ready in ten minutes.Must remember to add the red onions. So how have you been keeping?” Sam asked.

"The recent replicator... incidents have certainly raised our alertness.", he replied, taking one of the bowls sitting around. He only just then realized how hungry he actually was. His stomach audibly growled as if to hammer the fact home. "Security is investigating and I'm busy keeping the platoon frosty. The last engagement's gone to some of their heads, and the replicators being out isn't helping. Although I guess t'was high time we finally practiced with the field cookers, anyway."

Sam tapped his make shift cooking rig.

“ This is one I made up myself. The Commodore is using the others. He is technically the ships chef when this kind of thing happens. I am just helping out really and….” Perkins gestured for his friend to lean closer.

“To be honest he uses to much salt. Don’t get me wrong it’s good of him to do it. It’s just you need to drink twice as much after eating one of his meals. I know we should say something but he is the Commodore. Who do you tell him something like that?” Perkins whispered.

Maximilian shrugged. "I'm not an NCO because I know how to be polite.", he answered nonchalantly. "But last I checked, listening to suggestions is part of the job for many Starfleet officers. I doubt the Commodore would feel like his cooking was being insulted."

Perkins chuckled as he added some mint to the stew and stirred.

“ You’d be surprised some people take their recipes very seriously. I remember once when I was a kid my grandmother used to make this apple pie. But she would always be stingy on the apples. No one of course dared to say anything. Until a cousins fiancé joked it should not be called an apple pie. Because it had no apples in it. I had never seen her turn such an angry colour of red before. He was never seen again” Sam explained.

"She could've been a relative of SGM Kelnog then. Such fond memories I have of her.", Pfaffenheim remarked in a slightly sarcastic fashion. "Then again, they say that our CSMs are trained by none other than a corps of Canadian geese. Of course, never say that near a CSM - if you think they can't hear you, they can." He pondered for a second. "Although one would hope Starfleet officers of all people have a proper handle on their emotions, if I may put it that bluntly."

Perkins shook his head as he stirred the pot.

“ Canadian geese can be quite vicious when the mood takes them. I often got a nasty peck from one near my grandmothers friends farm. The thing was always chasing me. But you are correct best not call one that to their face. Ok. It’s ready I’ll dish you a bowl.” Perkins said.

Pfaffenheim handed Perkins his bowl.

Sam poured out some of the stew into Pfaffenheim’s bowl. He also gave him some slices of french bread as well.

“ That’s to dip with or wipe the bowl after. There is plenty mote if you want.” Sam said.

He then dished himself up a bowl and armed with some french bread slices followed his friend.

“ It’s quite thick really. Might have over done the potatoes. Still it smells good.” Sam said.

"Better than MREs all day long.", Pfaffenheim remarked and took a bite from the bread when they sat down at a table. Not wanting to be awkwardly quiet, he decided to ask Perkins about his science class. "So, how are the cadets doing, sir? Spooner in particular. I do hope he hasn't been his usual self, or I've got some early '20s PADDs that need fixing for him."

Perkins took a chunk of bread and dipped it into his stew. He looked at the end of it taking in how much of the stew had been absorbed.

" With all the recent problems the cadets have been keeping their heads down. Spooner has been doing very well as it goes. He has turned things around. But there all on edge with these replicator malfunctions." Sam explained.

"As they should.", Pfaffenheim answered and adopted a concerned expression. "I've got a bad feeling about it. People forget, but replicators can be just as dangerous as a canister of knockout gas or worse, all it takes is the correct programming. And don't ask me how I know that." He gulped down spoonfulls of stew as if he was on some kind of timer. "I doubt this happening now is some sort of coincidence."

Perkins nodded. His friend was correct. For a brief moment he thought of his old friend turned energy Russhook.

“ What worries me is that who ever is behind this. May start on the real supplies we have. Like the food we have stored just for emergencies like this. But I pity any fool who tries to interfere with my plants. They would have to deal with Norman and Susan.” Sam said.

"Ah, yes, those two... whatever kind of plants they are. As for the perpetrator, with any luck Security or we Marines might catch them red-handed, though I won't rely on it. If they can rig an entire ship's replicators to go off the rails, who knows what else they can do.", Pfaffenheim contemplated while finishing the stew. "But I think your plants are quite safe. I personally wouldn't risk facing a scientist with home field advantage.", he continued in a slightly amused tone.

Perkins gave a chuckle. He remembered the recent incident involving Kord and his plant called Norman.

“ Still it is a worry. But then again. After what Norman did to a full grown Gorn. They really would be very silly indeed. Would you like so more stew?” Perkins asked.

Pfaffenheim shook his head. "No, sorry. No time. I've got to drop in on some of the guards, see how they're holding up. Keeps them on their toes. The stew was quite good either way. I think I see now why some people cook instead of using replicators."

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Lieutenant Commander Sam Perkins
Chief Science Officer
USS Poseidon

&

Staff Sergeant Maximilian Pfaffenheim
First Sergeant of the Marine Detachment
USS Poseidon

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