Confessionsa (A FLASHBACK)

Posted on Thursday March 10th, 2022 @ 12:58am by Lieutenant Serran & Lieutenant Nicholas Coleman
Edited on on Thursday March 10th, 2022 @ 6:08am

2,411 words; about a 12 minute read

Mission: S1-A1-Ep. 2: Our Foremost Virtues
Location: Serran's family home Vulcan
Timeline: June 2375

ON
Serran did not identify as V'tosh ka'tur. He did not embrace emotions or eschew logic He just was a little freer in his expression of emotions. Especially the positive ones. The negative ones, like hate and anger, he did try to control, and he was generally successful at it. There was one emotion, fear that he was currently finding it difficult to keep in check. It was perhaps the most negative emotion of them all. Fear.

Meditation had worked for a while. Occupying his mind with other things, like puzzles, or conjugating verbs in Romulan had helped. As had thinking about David. But now as the shuttle was approaching the home he had grown up in, that fear had grown almost impossible to hold in check.

He had been away from home now, for eighteen months, or if he were being precise, seventeen months, twenty-one days. He had not calculated the hours. He'd gone through a couple of changes while on Earth. The most obvious one was his hair. He was no longer wearing it in Vulcan fashion and had even let it grow out. Not a lot. Just enough to stand out and be different. There were other changes that wouldn't be so obvious. Those changes, realizations, and acceptance really, were what was causing the fear.

He wasn't sure how his father would feel about any of those changes, though he was pretty sure the reaction would not be warm and embracing. But, he had decided to tell his father about all of them, the obvious and the unobvious changes. He'd changed his mind half a dozen times but knew this was not only the logical thing but the right thing. He had to be honest with himself and his parents.

That resolve weakened somewhat as the shuttle landed. He gathered his things and stepped out into the welcoming heat of a Vulcan summer. He saw a familiar face coming towards him.

Sorek walked the distance from the family house to the shuttle landing pad and as he grew closer, he realized that his son had gone through some...non-traditional Vulcan changes. Nothing extreme, but still very noticeable. As the father grew closer to his son, he stopped a bit short and gave him the traditional Vulcan salute.

"Greetings, my son. I take it that your journey from Earth to Vulcan was a safe one for you?" Sorek said, putting his salute down as he looked over his son's appearance over once again. The father wasn't an emotional man and was in control of them, for the most part. But, the Vulcans were a passionate people and did have emotions, which they suppressed through meditation and logic. Sorek felt a bit of a strange emotion trying to peek its head through the surface: Rage.

His son was always a bit of an outsider, especially for a Vulcan. While he was fully Vulcan, Serran always appeared to embrace parts of the emotions that gave positive light to his life. Happiness, joy, amusement, and love to just name a few. That's why Serran never seemed to quite fit in on Vulcan, both in his personal life and in school. Sorek thought it would be better to send him off to Earth for a little while to see how the emotions of Humans would impact his son's life.

However, when Sorek saw his son, Earth and Humans had more of an impact on his son than he thought they would. He was hoping that they would help to reign these emotions in for his son so that he could return to the traditional Vulcan way and potentially even do the ritual to purge the rest of these emotions like he himself had done years ago.

Looking over his son once more, Sorek said, "The hair has become longer. Is that something that you've learned about while on Earth?" He gave a disapproving look of his son before turning back to head back to the place where Serran grew up, motioning for him to follow him inside.

Serran had returned the salute his father had offered, it was the proper thing to do and at this point in his young life, almost rote.

The disapproving look was not lost on him either as he had seen it more than once.

Brushing a stray look of his hair out of his face, he shouldered his duffle bag and followed Sorek. "I take it you don't like the new look father?" He replied not bothering to answer the question directly.

Stopping dead in his tracks and looking back at his son, Sorek said, "I can neither approve nor disapprove of something that I cannot control. Just like the color of your hair was genetic, the way in which you keep your hair is all your own. But, just remember that you are a Vulcan....the son of a Vulcan Ambassador. There are certain things that we have to keep up with, in regards to certain appearances. Just remember that." Sorek stuck his finger out in a condemning way as he spoke to his son.

As he finished speaking, Serran's mother, T'Ria, had come outside to greet her son and husband, who still hadn't made it inside. Not that she was worried, but she was curious as to where the two men were and hoping that the tension between them would have not come up again as it had before Serran had gone to Earth to live for that certain bit of time.

T'Ria came over and gave her son the Vulcan salute as well, before saying, "It is pleasurable to see you, my son. Have you had safe travels?"

Serran again held up his hand in the traditional greeting. With his mother though, it was more than just a programmed response. He wanted to reach out and hug her, he needed the emotional support. But, he refrained.

"It is pleasurable to see you again, mother. I have had safe travels. What about my siblings. How are they faring?"

"Your brother, S'Jens, is inside if you wanted to talk to him. He's back from the Vulcan Science Academy, after having served for a semester with Captain Taul. He has been asking about you," T'Ria said, looking as though she wished the same. But, didn't embrace him in front of his father. However, she did take his hand and lead him inside the house to show him to him, where he was working on a monitor and talking to someone from the Vulcan Science Institute.

His father walked inside behind him, trying to show nothing but complete and utter logic. However, Sorek could tell that something was wrong and he wished to speak with him privately about whatever was on his mind. Yet, that would have to wait until Serran was done with his mother and brother.

Vulcans weren't much for small talk but Serran managed to keep the conversation going for a good thirty minutes before he found himself alone with his father in study. "I assume from the expression on your face that you wish to speak with me?"

"Serran, my son. What's going through your illogical mind? You've had a look on your face since you stepped off that shuttle that almost screams that something has been eating you away. Please tell me what you're thinking?" Sorek said, understanding his son more than his son might have thought.


"You are correct, there is something on my mind. Logical or otherwise."

"We need to talk about my marriage with T'Pru I know it has been arranged since we were seven, but it's not going to work."

He took a half step back, letting his statement hang in the air.

Looking at his son, he looked confused. Sorek looked at his son once more and asked simply, "Why would such a reasonable marriage not work out? T'Pru is a wonderful young woman. She has studied at the Vulcan Science Academy and has multiple degrees in medicine and Astrophysics. Why would such a marriage not be beneficial to you and her?" Sorek said, slightly confused as to why the marriage wouldn't be a good match, even though his son might have been more emotional. The two of them were close since birth and the two families were rather close.

Looking at his son, Sorek walked over to him and put his hands on his shoulders. "Have you thought this through? Have you thought about how this could impact your future?" Sorek asked, wanting the best for his younger son. Sorek was trying to think of every logical explanation as to why his son would not want to take such a mate.

Serran almost recoiled at his father's touch but managed to avoid doing so. He took a deep steadying breath. "Just because I have reached a decision you do not agree with does not mean that I have not thought it through."

"For your information, I have given a great deal of thought about this. I have even lost sleep over it,

"I've only met her twice and I can tell you in no uncertain terms, it would never work out between us."

"Besides that, I have fallen in love with someone else."

"What do you mean that you've fallen in love with someone else?" Sorek said, taking his hands off his son's shoulders. He walked further into his study and started to pace, much like the humans have done. He wasn't sure what to believe and he wasn't quite ready for his son's answers. However, he needed to know why his son was so adamant that he wasn't ready to marry T'Pru.

Walking back to his son, Sorek asked, "Why do you believe that you're not ready to marry T'Pru? Who has your heart and has taken it away from the person we've promised you to?"

"I am not ready to marry T'Pru or any female. The one who has taken my heart is a boy, not a girl. His name is David."

Sorek looked back at his son and didn't say a word. He walked over to his replicator and ordered some Vulcan Spice Tea with a side of lemon. Once the order came through, he took the tea and lemon, squished the liquid from the lemon into his drink, and slowly took a few soft sips from the warm drink. Honestly, he didn't know what to say or how to react to his Vulcan son...his son...coming out to him and telling him that he was gay.

Without missing a beat, he didn't even look at his son when Sorek asked, "How long have you had these feelings for this young man? I'm assuming that he's a human that you met while on Earth?"

Serran fought to keep emotions that sought to rise up inside him and overcome his resolve of logic. His father didn't even have the courage to look at him. If he were not careful, he would find himself in tears, which would only make a bad situation even worse.

Forcing himself to stand a little taller and more rigid, he finally responded.

"Yes, he is a human boy. Feelings for him? Five, six months I guess. We're in the same grade, that's what they call it back on Earth. We were on the same Mock Federation Council team."

"He'd been dropping hints that he wanted to be more than a friend, but I didn't get it. And then, he told me how dense I was and kissed me. And I kissed him back."

"And, em, we did other things. That is when it started."

"Father, are you even going to look at me? Do you no longer love me?"

"I love your mother, brother, and sisters. I love your aunts, uncles, grandparents. I even love you, but the connection that I've had with you has always been strained and I'm finally understanding why now. I can't condone these feelings that you're having, Serran, nor can I understand them. But, I can't stop you from having these feelings and it will make you an outcast within the Vulcan community because there's not a lot of Vulcans like yourself," Sorek said, finally walking over to stand toe-to-toe with his own son, facing him for the first time for several hours.

As they stood together in silence, Sorek broke it by saying, "Son, you've always struggled with logic and emotion, and I guess that's a misgiving that your mother and I imposed upon you. We raised you on Earth for so long that a traditional Vulcan upbringing wouldn't have been perfect. I will always...love you as my son and be there for you as a father. You need to figure out the best way to live your own life and figure out what makes you, as the humans would say, happy. But, you also need to understand that I'm not...comfortable yet, and I need time to figure that part out. I love you, my Serran."

He gave his son the Vulcan salute, mainly because he was unsure what to think. Sorek didn't know a lot of gay people and knew that he had to start now for his son.


Serran let his father's words sink in before he replied, but he never broke eye contact with the man.

Returning the Vulcan salute. "This is not your fault. None of this is your fault. Not my struggles with logic, not my being gay, not my not fitting in. It's no one's fault. It is just the way I am."

"I am grateful that you still love me and that you seem willing to work through this. How do we start?"

"Today, it won't start because this was a lot of information to take in. Let your mother and I discuss what our next steps are, if only for our sakes. We will deal with this before your time here is gone."

"Then I will send you back to the man you seem very passionate about, back on Earth. Just make sure he doesn't break your emotional heart, my Serran," Sorek said, turning back, letting it all sink in that his son was even more of an outcast among his people.

Not only did he have blonde hair, but he was a gay Vulcan.

A joint post by

Lieutenant Nicholas Coleman (As Sorek)
Assistant Chief Cultural Officer
USS Posiedon

&
Lieutenant Serran
Chief Cultural Officer
USS Posiedon

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