[BACKLOG] At the academy
Posted on Sunday February 27th, 2022 @ 4:31pm by Lieutenant Commander T'Pri & Commander Sam Perkins & Gunnery Sergeant Maximilian Pfaffenheim
Edited on on Sunday February 27th, 2022 @ 4:50pm
2,054 words; about a 10 minute read
Mission: S1-A1-Ep. 1: Spectrophobia
[ ON ]
-Mess Hall-
Cadets! Perkins liked being on the Poseidon. He got on well with the crew. The ship was perfect for him. There was only one slight annoyance. The cadets!
He had recently had a prank played on him. Where two cadets pretended to be the science computer. Then act as if it had been taken over by an alien presence. He had roped in Hirsch and Busuiji to help him. Combat it. When the truth came out Perkins felt like a fool.
Now. He could not believe it. Two cadets had tried to turn the lab into a distillery. Brewing their own vodka or what would pass as it. They would have got away with it too if Sam had not tried the very same thing. In his second year at the Academy and recognized the smell.
Perkins needed a break so he went to the mess hall. After getting himself a mug of coffee and a sandwich. He took a seat and looked out one of the windows.
Pfaffenheim was in a fairly neutral mood entering the mess hall. Training had gone well, and Cpl. Artigue had - for once - not goofed off enough to warrant getting angry with him. So, as his schedule allowed it, he had made up his mind to get something to eat and drink. A panini and some orange juice were just the things he needed now, and he looked for a place to sit, noticing one of the few spots at the table where Perkins was sitting.
"Lieutenant Commander.", Pfaffenheim greeted the science officer. "Mind if I sit here?"
Sam looked up he had not seen his friend for a while.
“ Oh hello. By all means please join me.” He said smiling.” It’s been a while, how are you doing?”
"Fairly well all things considered. Perhaps even fairly good, considering one of my men isn't his usual bumbling self for once." Pfaffenheim, although quite the introvert, did notice Perkins looked a little less cheerful than usual. "As for you, sir? Any trouble, perhaps with a certain cadet?", he asked, in reference to their first meeting.
Perkins thought for a moment.
“ Oh yes. I remember the pushy mother. That was all sorted ages ago. A few other rather interesting and hair greying things have happened since then. I suppose you heard about the incident with Lazarus and one of my plants.” Sam said.
Pfaffenheim thought for a moment. He had indeed heard that something happened but was fuzzy on the details. "Yes, I've heard. Pretty interesting kind of plants, they must be... what were their names again?"
“ Norman and Susan. It was Norman who caused all the fuss. It was all my fault really I gave Lazarus some ointment for a skin condition. Which unknown to me carried some pheromones that set it off.” Perkins said
T'Pri walks into the room.
"Greetings Cmdr Perkins, SSgt Pfaffenheim, I heard about what happened. It is imperative that you get back at them and teach them a lesson." T'Pri said.
“ Oh, they will learn the meaning of taking a prank too far. Would you care to join us?” Perkins replied.
"Lieutenant Commander.", Pfaffenheim simply greeted T'Pri.
"I will join you, what did you have in mind"? T'Pri asked.
Perkins smiled.
“ For a hot beverage some munchies and a chat. We were just talking about recent events. Such as the Norman incident.Plus the recent antics of some of the cadets.” Sam explained.
"What did they actually do this time, sir?", Pfaffenheim asked. "I've heard some things that... well, they seem to cross a new line every other week."
Perkins took a sip of his drink.
“ Pretended the science computer was infected by an alien. They then went on to pretend it had gone pushy and psychotic. I mean to say yes we got up to pranks when we were cadets. Didn't we?” He said
"I don't see why we couldn't do the same on quizzes or even finals we could program tests, or even drills to get back at them," T'Pri suggested.
"I have a couple more old tricorders and PADDs that need fixing, and by 'a couple' I mean about four dozen.", Pfaffenheim said. "Never did get up to much in the Academy, either. And in the Corps, pranking a superior officer is practically a death wish... not a literal one, that is, but they'll PT you till you wish it was."
Perkins smiled.
“ I quite agree. So long as it is tedious work. It will give them time to think of their sins.” Sam said
He looked towards T’Pri.
“So how are things?” He asked
"Acceptable. If I may make a suggestion. You could have the students scrub out the deuterium conduits or the waste reclamation." T'Pri said
Sam nodded.
“ Yes, that’s a good idea. You know it makes me wonder. I mean when we were cadets at the academy you know. I remember in my first year a couple of cadets were kicked out. For blowing up one of the dormitories. They were trying to make real whiskey.” He said.
"Well, they didn't do it correctly then.", Pfaffenheim commented nonchalantly. "You don't get good whiskey from distilling it with lab equipment, anyway. We did ours on survival exercise, with a modified water purifier. Well, one of the sapper trainees did." He rubbed his chin and chuckled ever so slightly. "Whether it was worth the following three days of PT, I can't tell you, though as a Staff Sergeant I'm obligated to tell you 'no'."
“ Well in my second year we actually did brew our own ale. The real thing of course we called it one glass. Because after one drink of it you were well and truly tipsy. Our instructors thought it was a stomach bug going around. The way everyone had headaches and kept vomiting.” Sam said.
"You'd think instructors had better noses.", Max replied.
Perkins gave a wicked chuckle.
“ Oh, we were sneaky in those days. Remember we were all potential science officers. We knew how to mask the smell of a home or should I say dormitory-made distillery. We even fooled old T’Shura our science professor. Sorry T’Pri no offense” Sam said
"Did you actually get away with anything, it's hard to get one over on a Vulcan." T'Pri replied.
“ Well. We thought so. But I remember on my graduation from the academy T’Shura told me under her breath. To be watchful of a starship's inner sensors. She knew about it but never said anything outright.” Sam said.” So Maximilian did you ever have any odd encounters with your instructors?” Sam asked his friend.
"Did you heed her advice, Mr. Perkins?" T'Pri asked.
“ Well…..as a bright young Ensign. With a rather watchful first officer on the lookout for shenanigans amongst the newbies. We had to. But there are many ways to fool inner sensors. The problem is the cadets have new ways now.” Sam said
The Sergeant shrugged slightly. "Well, I did a few things in basic training that we weren't exactly supposed to, but our instructors were a lot more... active in prosecuting any suspicions they had if you know what I mean. And I wasn't really at the Academy long enough to get up to much before dropping out."
Sam looked at him in surprise.
“ You dropped out? I can’t imagine that would happen to you. What went wrong?” Sam asked
T'Pri's eyebrow shot up at this new information.
The Staff Sergeant immediately tensed up, wishing he hadn't said that. "Wasn't really anything with the Academy itself, just... things happened. Didn't feel like I could go on after that.", he answered, trying to avoid the inquiry. "Personal stuff. The Corps was... well, never expected I would join before I did. But don't tell my Marines that."
Sam could tell his friend did not wish to go further on the subject.
“ That’s ok if you do not wish to share. The reason for your departure from the academy. I have a scar that has a very personal story behind it. That I don’t wish broadcasted publicly. Perkins replied
"Circumstances always change in life, sometimes the decisions we make are necessary for the good of the many, more so than the good of the one, no need to feel shame over a decision, you have obviously lived with the consequences," T'Pri said.
"Yeah... I like to think I've moved on.", Pfaffenheim muttered in reply, clearly not convinced of his own words. "Anyway, Commander, any fun stories from your academy time?", he asked T'Pri, trying to change the subject.
Sam also looked at T’Pri waiting to hear any anecdotes she had to tell.
“ Yes. Please tell us,” He asked.
T'Pri's left eyebrow shot up.
"Fun? I was at the academy to learn not to have fun. Although once I was with a group of associates that reprogrammed red squads replicators to produce only Cardassian food when they went on a month-long training cruise. I recall they drank a sort of fish juice for coffee. It was a response for another slight. Pranks and pranksters are still around to this day." T'Pri said.
"I expected nothing less.", Max commented. "You know, Commander, there are Vulcans in the Corps, too. You'd be surprised what some good old esprit de corps can do! You could come to watch a combat sim sometimes. Sergeant t'Kess is usually pretty enthusiastic.", he told T'Pri, smirking just a little bit.
Sam made a face.
“ Fish juice. You know on Earth there was once a craze to eat raw fish wrapped in edible seaweed encased in rice. Quite popular at one stage until a new food craze took hold. But what you said about pranksters is true. I am now convinced that some of them on this vessel. Are holding some kind of bet to see how far they can push me.” He said
"There will be away missions we might be able to re-prank them on one of these. Perhaps a planetary survey." T'Pri said.
Sam made a face.
“ Is that wise? We are supposed to set an example. If the cadets see us pranking others. They will think it’s ok to do the same. Captain Johnson won’t like that.” Sam said
"If we are subtle and not overtly aggressive we can prank them and it will only affect them and may teach them not to prank others," T'Pri replied.
“ Better to punish them. Something nice and difficult like cleaning the Jeffries tubes.” Sam replied “ What do you think Max?” Sam asked.
The Staff Sergeant rubbed his chin. "Well, I have my methods, but subjecting science cadets to those might get us reprimanded. That said, as Spooner can attest, there's always something nice and tedious as well. I'm not one for pranks, really. They don't usually have the intended effect."
Okay, then we immerse them in tedium. I can get behind that." T'Pri said.
“ Sometimes tedium can be fun. I remember once upsetting one of the gym instructors at the academy. She had me outside counting how many bricks there were. In the walls of the gymnasium. I found it was most relaxing.” Sam said.
"Well, if you need any 20s tricorder calibration exercise for some unruly cadets, Commanders, you know who to ask. You'd be surprised how much old equipment you can still find laying around if you know where to look.", Max commented.
Sam placed another piece of sandwich in his mouth.
“ This cheese and pickle sandwich is very good. Thanks, Max I have at least two cadets who need a stern lesson. Not to prank their science teacher.” Sam said in between munches.
"I'll see what tech with the largest manual-pages-to-usefulness ratio I can find, sir.", the Staff Sergeant noted with a barely noticeable smirk.
Perkins looked at the time and gave a sigh.
“ Oh well looks like break time is up. Back to the grindstone” Sam said.
Pfaffenheim finished off the last of his sandwich and juice. "I'll have to go as well. The schedule won't write itself."
[OFF]
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A post by:
LCdr T’Pri
4XO/Chief of Intelligence/Senior Instructor
USS Poseidon NCC42635
&
Staff Sergeant Maximilian Pfaffenheim
First Sergeant, Marine Detachment
USS Poseidon
&
Lcmd Sam Perkins
Chief Science Officer
USS Poseidon
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