"Understanding and Healing"

Posted on Thursday November 12th, 2020 @ 1:57am by Commodore Gregory Paladin

2,050 words; about a 10 minute read

Mission: S1-A1-Ep. 1: Spectrophobia
Location: Holodeck 1

[ON]

Neteri escorted the Commodore to Holodeck 1 and pulled her program up. It was set back home, meadows, flowers, birds and other animal life. Incorporated in the program was a babbling brook complete with fish, and fishing gear, should you choose to use it. Just off to the left of the meadow was a small cabin where you could change clothes, or cook, or basically just be lazy. This program was made to relax frayed nerves and ease problems such as her PTSD and or her nightmare demons.

"Well Commodore, here we are. Are you ready to enjoy some positive energy,?" Neteri said. As she stepped towards the doors, they parted, and the serenity hit you like a torpedo.

Gregory Paladin was about to respond until his senses experienced the entrance to this unknown, peaceful world. He was very familiar with holodecks and their ability to force a perception of reality upon the user, but he had never experienced the great feeling of serenity he had when he first entered. It was like someone had taken the most positive and reinforcing things and cobbled them together in a pot, creating what he was seeing now as the end result. He was taken aback, and for the first few moments his mouth hung slightly open, lips parted only slightly as his head turned this way and that to take in the experience.

It wasn't until he took in a deep breath and exhaled, closing his eyes briefly as he did, that his brain caught up with him. He gave a chuckle, nodding to Neteri.



"Yes, I think I am," he said, catching up and walking beside her "Very fine simulation here, Lieutenant Commander. I take it you designed this for your relaxation?"

"Yes Commodore. I designed it not only for relaxation but a little bit of home as well," Neteri said, walking into the meadow. Suddenly a small fawn came running up to her. Reaching down, she gave it an affectionate rub and kiss and it ran off to join its mother. You could smell the fresh water from the brook and the fresh flowers on the gentle breeze. "Come sir, let's sit over here on these rocks near the brook. From here you can see the entire meadow," she said. Walking over to the rocks and sat on the largest of the three there.

Gregory watched, almost amazed at the display of the fawn before his rational mind reminded him that this was all a fabrication. It was still a unique experience. He nodded at Neteri, following her as he sat near her on a boulder outcropping. The brook was gentle, the bubbly sound creating an atmospheric sound of relaxation and gentleness. He saw many fish in the brook, however deep it was; the brooks water clear enough to see the fish within. He then noticed the fishing equipment conveniently nearby, taking a mental note of that as he turned his attention back to Neteri.

Resting one leg a bit higher on his boulder, he saddled his arm on his knee as he looked towards Neteri. "Very nice place here. Is it similar to someplace real?"

"Yes sir it is from my home on Argos Prime where I grew up. My parents had a small but comfortable house situated in this meadow. I used to play here and had made friends with just about every animal in the meadow. Dad and I used to go fishing and talk about flying. Do you fish sir?" she asked.

Gregory nodded, "I do, when I was home with the kids. I took my boy fishing quite often, daughter was never that interested in it. I uh...stopped fishing after they died."

There was a visible grimace on his face, but no flashbacks came. Just the emotion, just the feeling of emptiness. He was under control for the moment.

Sensing that she hit a nerve, "Well we can do that later if you would like. Sir, tell me about your career? It sounds quite intriguing," Neteri asked softly.

"Hmm?" mumbled Gregory, lost in thought as his mind replayed Neteri's question. "Oh! Oh, right, my career. I started Starfleet when I was 19 years old, I came from a farming background back in Iowa. I was assigned, funnily enough, to a Miranda-class starship as my first posting four years later. The U.S.S Nautilus, NCC-31910."

Taking a moment to breathe in the fresh air, Gregory looked over at Neteri as he continued.

"I was a security officer there, didn't think much of it at the time. There was talk of war among the crew and upper staff but, several months in, nothing came of it. Up until...well, later that year." His attention turned to the brook then, watching the fish swim by. He continued.

"The Dominion War started. The Nautilus was thrust into the First Battle of Chin'toka. Chief of Security got injured, I took his place. Don't know why, guess the Captain saw something in me then. Several engagements later I was promoted to full Lieutenant Commander by the Captain, the XO and him seeing something in me I didn't realize at the time. Lost a good couple of friends during the war, saw a bunch of death, and eventually after the war ended I got suggested for command by my Captain. Spent the entire war on the Nautilus, I did. She got damaged, banged up, all that, was a second home and I think were I got my fling for Miranda's."

A slight smirk appeared at the corner of his lips, a soft chuckle as he shook his head. He sighed, looking back to Neteri.

"I got sent off to Command School a year or so later," Gregory continued. "Spent four years there, made some new friends and all that. After I graduated as Commander with honors, I returned to the Nautilus as her new Executive Officer. Old Captain Murphy and I had a good talk, lot of good advice. So did Commander Mary. She was a good XO. Anyway, Captain Murphy was being promoted to Admiralty and he apparently made an impression on the new Captain - Captain Purk I believe - coming in concerning me, so I got the job as the XO. Anyway, spent nine years as XO for that ship. Boy, the places we went..."

As he said that, he looked off into the distance, a smile on his face, eyes distant and remembering. His shoulders straightened a bit as he blinked away something, chuckling to himself as a moment of silence crept over the conversation. Quietly, after he composed himself, he continued.

"I uh...got it into my head that one day I'd be a CO. So, after nine years, I did that, and commanded this very ship we're on for just under a year. My family died that year, I was on leave at the time, and I went on full leave from Starfleet for two years or so. Came back as a Commodore, apparently I had made an impression, and I got the job as head of Academy Training Operations."

"But, uh," Gregory started to say, shaking his head as he chuckled again. He looked up, exhaling empathically. "During my time off, after my wife and kids died, I met up with Franklin while he was still in the Civvie transportation corps. He got marooned on the planet I hid on, I took him in. When he went to the Academy, he remembered me, and just so happened he got this ship to command. When he found out I was actively serving he insisted I be here as Mission Advisor. I accepted and...rest is history."

A moment of silence, then, "What about you?"

"Well.....where to start," Neteri said looking at the grass at her feet. Thinking, "My life started out on Argos Prime. Small planet, and my parent's were SF Air Corps. Pilots, both, highly decorated, and Command Air Group, both, leading squadrons that protected Argos Prime from the pirates and slavers, and of course Cardassians, Romulans and the other dregs that tried to ravage the planet's natural resources of dilithium and titanium from the planet's mines," she said. "I grew up literally sitting in the pilots seat on my parent's fighters as they flew. Dad loved to take me on missions," she started to laugh. "Mom would radio him and holler to bring me home and dad would tell her that he would be back after mission. I guess he figured that I would learn by watching him. Well I did, and surprised mom one day by taking the controls away from her and flew her fighter. She nearly died when I did that! She cursed dad out for days!" Neteri said laughing!!

Gregory laughed with Neteri, the two sharing a lighthearted moment as they enjoyed the reminiscing of their past. Eventually the laughter waned and the Commodore was left to inspect his surroundings. A few more moments of silence passed afterward.

"It's been a lot of work moving on from things," Gregory finally said. "Did you know that Canaan and I had a fling for a bit? The previous Chief Science Officer? I had believed things were going well, but he got an offer from Starfleet for his own command. I encouraged him to pursue his interests and he did. He was the only one I've ever talked to about my real past, about everything, besides you that is Neteri. Canaan also had dealings with PTSD, which I don't think I've mentioned yet about myself. A lot of it from the Dominion War; bad dreams, people I knew and trusted dying in front of me, all that. Most of it though...."

He trailed off, taking in a deep breath that he let out in an extended sigh. The Commodore finally looked to Neteri as he continued.

"Most of it was from seeing my family die, and the fight with the man that killed them. That still haunts me. Every night. Canaan chased the demons away and for a while, I genuinely believed I was over it. But a fling is a fling, and I didn't see it until it was too late, not that I hold it against him. I love him, I do, but I was too late in saying it and too late in asking him to stay. I'm not a smart man when it comes to that. I suffered for it afterward, for a while."

Neteri felt his hurt. Carefully choosing her words, "I watched as my pilots were blown up and felt their emotions. It was that which made me into the person I am. When Pavan was killed, it........." stopping for a brief moment and breathing deeply. "His emotions were very strong that day and the PTSD was,Ed back into my conscious mind again. Aside from him being my best friend, he was also my intended Imzadi. Now I have no one and well maybe I should just give up looking for that piece I am missing. But I am rambling on about me and that is not good".

Gregory chuckled. "No, it's fine Neteri. It really is. I remember acting the same way the first few times I met with Canaan. Maybe we should schedule some more get togethers, hmm? To help both of us move on, this time more completely."

Neteri looked at Gregory. "Maybe you're right Commodore, this might be a good place to stop and pick it up another time. I think we are having a good get together and discussing our common problems.......or how we are feeling about ourselves right now. We have made progress I believe," she said smiling, as Gregory had made an impression on her.

"You're very welcome, Neteri," Gregory replied with a brief smile. "I appreciate the holodeck adventure as well. Right now, though, I've got to return to planning. I look forward to see you again."

Giving Neteri a chance to reply, he would also give his farewell as the Commodore turned and exited.

Watching him leave, Neteri couldn’t help but feel a certain kindredship withe the Commodore.

OFF:

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Commodore Gregory Paladin
Mission Advisor
USS Poseidon

&

Lt. Cmdr. Neteri "Ikran" Shannon
CAG
USS Poseidon

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