The Winding Paths That Lead Us [Pt. 1]

Posted on Wednesday August 21st, 2019 @ 4:35am by Commander Kanaka Shakura & Commodore Gregory Paladin

2,253 words; about a 11 minute read

Mission: Departure and Trial Run
Location: U.S.S. Poseidon; Paladin's Quarters, Deck 2
Timeline: Pre-Poseidon Launch; Pre-Departure; Post-Meeting
Tags: Post-Meeting, Pre-Departure

After the Senior Officers' Meeting had concluded and Kana had performed her first official duty as Second Officer and promoted the now Lieutenant Freya to Chief Flight Control Officer, the Chief Counsellor had retired to her quarters for a few moments respite in the immediate run-up to the Poseidon's departure. Yet she couldn't find the means by which to relax. Even as she played her most prized personal possession, her violin - playing her part in Mozart's String Quartet No. 15 - she stood there, her muscles guiding themselves through the rhythm as she closed her eyes and pondered.

Her thoughts were a flickering mess, at first. So much had gone on in the past few days alone that it was becoming hard to focus on any particular event, having met so many faces and having gone through so much so quickly. Usually this wasn't something she struggled with; but there was something, something gnawing and biting at the back of her mind as she played. Soon the fog in her mind started to clear, and things started to fall more into place.

"The Commodore."

She found herself stopping in the midst of her practice, something she very rarely did, the succeeding notes still continuing in her head even as the sounds had ceased. As the days had gone on, and as she had met more people - Commander Johnson, Lieutenant Freya, Lieutenant Junior Grade Sydney Allen to name a few - there was a reoccurring theme between all of them: Commodore Gregory Paladin. Through some form of relationship, good or ill, past or present, they had all been brought to the Poseidon and it was becoming more and more evident with every passing interaction that he had some part to play in it. But how? Why?

"Well, as Father always used to say: don't ask, don't receive..." Kana resolved herself to find the answers, some way or another. It was at that moment that she recalled from the Senior Officers' Meeting that the Commodore had offered to give her advice at any time should she need it; if it was a way to get them talking, she'd use it.

Gently returning the violin to its pride of place in her own quarters, she swiftly departed. Walking only a few paces up the corridor, she stopped before the door of Paladin's own quarters, the melodic chime from the other side just barely audible as it alerted him to her presence.

"Come," came the reply.

Gregory Paladin's personal quarters, though temporary, was sparsely decorated with only the minimalist terms of decor. The most prevailing item - perhaps the most telling - was an image of the man's family that sat on a counter; a real, live image that was taken, not a hologram. The Commodore himself was sitting on his bed, arched over, intensely staring at the image. His head gently drifted up, a smile played his lips as he saw who entered.

"Ah, Chief Counsellor. To what do I owe the honour of this visit?"

"Commodore." Kana smiled back at him as she stepped inside, her hands held firmly behind her back. She noticed how intently he had been staring at the picture frame on his counter and upon inspecting it in the corner of her eye, could make out that it was an actual physical photograph of a group of people. "Family, most likely. Those he lost whom he mentioned in the meeting?"

"I wanted to ask you, sir." She began, stepping further forward towards him as she did so. "You've known this ship for longer than any of us on board. From your prior experience, what would you say is going to prove most important for those of us in Command?"

The Commodore, for the briefest of moments, seemed to perk up as if he had sensed danger. It was gone in a flash, but it was there. He maintained his smile, standing as he moved over to the replicator in his room.

"Would you like some coffee, tea?" he asked instead of answering. He gestured towards the private two-seat table. "Come in, sit."

The Chief Counsellor caught it, but only just. For good or ill, her opening question might already lead to some interesting answers. She relaxed her more official posture as she sat at his request. "Green tea, please."

The Commodore nodded, silently pleased and visibly relaxing as he caught her out of the corner of his eyes sitting.

"Green tea, then one coffee with two creams, one sugar," he told the replicator. Despite being old, most of the systems had some form of update to them. He grabbed the tea and his coffee afterwards, moving to sit across from the Chief Counsellor. He handed her the tea, sitting as he gazed at her briefly, then turned his head to stare back at the picture. He held his coffee in his hands.

"I miss them," he said, hinting that he knew she knew.

"He wasn't lying earlier when he said he laid things bare." Kana reflected as she took a glance over at the picture frame with him, and let the silence hang there for a moment as she then observed him: outwardly he was very calm and composed, but it was very evident that under the surface something was unsettling him, not just from sorrow but from something else. Any ordinary psychologist would put that down to the trauma of losing loved ones suddenly and call it a day; Kana wasn't one of those types.

"You mentioned, back in the meeting, that this ship was present at the Battle of Betazed." Kana resolved that if this was the way the conversation was going to go, she would do best to be open as well, at least in part. "I was a young girl when that fateful day happened. So many people killed, many more injured or permanently scarred; my father lost his mind amongst all the chaos, and now he's just a shell of his former self. Slipping away further and further, day by day. I miss him, too."

She let her story hang in the air for a moment before she continued, "Did you find your way back here for them?" She asked gently as she took a sip of her green tea, the good intent of her question very genuine.

Gregory was silent for a time. He reflected on the question as, at his core, a struggle was brewing. It was a horrible ordeal, his outward presence unaffected by the intense emotions flaring inside him - least of which sorrow. He hadn't spoken of that day to anyone, save for Starfleet who knew what had transpired. It was a horrible experience, one he kept to himself, to give him strength and purpose. Now, of all times, he found that purpose and strength faltering.

There was a vague memory that came to mind, strong and intense. Flames behind the face of a man, where behind him lay dead the family Gregory loved. The man's face was foggy, as if he was trying to still come to terms with what he'd seen himself, the only thing distinguishable being an eye filled with hate. It was gone in an instant, replaced by more memories, good and ill.

He turned to face Kanaka. There was a tear sliding down his cheek, released from his eye. His face was different, but if she could see the vision, the eye looked the same. His was filled with genuine pain and anguish.

"Sometimes I think I'm living in a nightmare," he said softly. "I see back when the shuttle exploded, my children, my wife, screaming. Then that face. The man that killed them stood there, tried to kill me too."

Things had quickly started to take a nosedive into something much different than what Kana was expecting when she made her way here, but this was her element. This was why she was here to begin with; to help others. This nightmarish vision he was having was certainly the result of trauma, burdened with regret but also guilt. "That eye...self-hatred? Anger over having not seen what was coming? Was Paladin a marked man? By whom?" These were questions she wondered, not all of which she was responsible for finding the answers to, yet she was becoming deeply invested in doing so.

Observing Paladin for a moment, the Chief Counsellor pulled an expression of deep concern but also care. "Is that why you came back to the Poseidon? To find peace?"

He was quiet again, holding back his cards; metaphorical and emotions entirely hidden now. He brought the coffee mug to his lips, sipping. When it gently clacked on the table surface, he looked up to her.

"I asked Starfleet to come back," he said, eyes firmly on hers. "I needed to finish what I started. What he tried to ruin. Maybe then I'll have peace."

She gave him an affirmative nod. She couldn't deny him that. Taking another sip of her green tea, she then pondered on her next question before asking, "So why us?"

The flinch again, this time more maintained. The feeling better controlled.

"You looked the best choice to train students. Academy professors are not Starfleet Officers, not in the sense that they are constantly in the field. I chose Franklin, for example, because he's quick to adapt to situations. You, because you're good at finding things out."

He sipped his coffee, "Almost too good," he quietly mumbled.

The Chief Counsellor let out a momentary chuckle as she heard his 'compliment'. "Well I'm glad I'm proving true to my reputation, Commodore." She took another mouthful of her tea before continuing, "Speaking of you and the Commander: he looks up to you quite a bit. Seems like you helped each other both out in what was a very difficult situation for you both on Alpha Centauri, albeit for different reasons."

"He was lost," Gregory shrugged. "Reminded me a lot of myself, I couldn't help it."

He glanced down at his coffee. "He looked for all the world like a lost cause, a puppy without its mother. After my kids died I...I don't know what came over me. I just offered him a place to get him back on his feet. The lessons came later - I was still an Academy instructor at the time. Eventually Starfleet just kinda imprinted on him. I think it worked out."

Kana smiled at him, "I think it has, and it will."

She finished the last of her green tea, and then sat there for a moment in another brief silence, though in her head her violin still played. "We all walk such different and winding paths, sir. They lead us in so many different directions; through rolling hills, through thorny woods, through fields of green as far as the horizon. These paths are never distinct; they always intersect. It seems to me that, for one reason or another, all of our paths here are intersecting in ways that are far more than just coincidence. Maybe it's just my gut, but something tells me there's more than just convoy work and the occasional discovery ahead of us."

She made ready to leave, standing and placed her hands behind her back, looking at the Commodore. "All I know for now is, you stand in the middle of that intersection. I trust in you that wherever our paths lead next, you will alert us when the time comes. I, for my part, will endeavour to support you, the Commander and the crew as we move forward."

Turning to leave, she then stopped herself at the doorway and looked back in. "I'm going to schedule us a counselling session together sometime next week, when things are underway and a little less hectic. I'll be in touch to let you know." Despite her reservations about him, she got no signs of him being a bad man; despite his demons, he seemed full of good intent.

Gregory nodded, simply, as he sipped his coffee. As she was in the doorway, he spoke up, gazing at her. His eyes burned for the need to release some emotional block, something inside him, something deep. The extremely pronounced feeling of guilt and depression was very apparently for a few seconds, almost as if the flood-gates had almost burst.

"Wait," he called after in that moment. Then, as it came under control, his emotions hid themselves and he turned away as a tear rolled down the side of his face hidden from her.

"Wait, I, uh....yeah, I think that would be nice. Thank you."

Kana looked at him for a second longer, and pondered for a moment whether to stay. She certainly could, and might get more answers, but there was ever the risk it would emotionally exhaust him and it'd prove more harmful than good. "This is a good start. Be patient." She told herself.

Stepping back into the room briefly, she gently placed her hand on the Commodore's shoulder and squeezed for a brief few seconds, just to let him know that he wasn't alone. "Hail me if you need to speak sooner, Commodore. For now, be sure to get some rest."

And with that, she turned and made her leave. "A promising lead, Detective Shakura." She humoured herself with an internal monologue narrated by a noir tone.

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