[Backlog] A Moment of Reflection

Posted on Tuesday November 12th, 2019 @ 3:13am by Commander Kanaka Shakura

2,071 words; about a 10 minute read

Mission: Departure and Trial Run
Location: U.S.S. Poseidon; Kanaka's Quarters, Deck 2
Timeline: Pre-Departure, T-002 Days; 0100 Hours
Tags: Pre-Poseidon Launch, Pre-Departure, Post-Meeting

"Hide, child!" Mr. Nabo'eil, the Hupyrian manservant of the Shakura family, spoke with a slight waiver in his voice as he looked out of the house windows, seeing the fire rain down from above. His exceedingly tall and gaunt figure turned to face the young child, noticing that she was frozen and unable to move. His natural scowl became even more fierce as he willed her to move, the terrified look in his deeply-inlaid eyes still burned into her mind.

"Move!" He shouted. Startled by this, a young Kana ran deeper into the large estate. The corridors seemed to stretch out before her without end and the world grew darker and darker as the sound of explosions and terror came closer and closer. One door just seemed to lead through directly into another and without end, the surroundings of the house melting away as there was only more doorways and blackness. With every door the screams grew louder.

It all reached a crescendo until Kana, short on breath, reached a dimly lit space. There was a very small gap that led into some sort of hidden space - one that she remembered, just barely - and next to it was an item of clothing that didn't belong there, but seemed to be imprinted in Kana's mind. It was her father's coat. Grabbing it, she entered into the tiny gap and - covering herself with the coat - curled up and laid deadly still. As her ear touched the ground, it was though she was directly above where she had been; she heard the crash and bang of someone - multiple footsteps, marching in unison - entering the house. The shouts of voices she didn't recognise, and a few muffled words from what sounded like Mr. Nabo'eil.

Then plasma rifle shots, and the sound of a large body hitting the ground with a horrible thud.

==============

Kana awoke suddenly, her heart pounding in her chest. Struggling to form words at first, she gasped as she looked around into the darkness. Reaching out around her she felt the sheets of her bed, lightly damp with cold sweat. Her breathing began to calm and the pounding began to cease, to be replaced by a slight throbbing in her temple. A night terror, a horribly distorted echo of a past she had wished to forget, but had come back to visit her since she had learnt about the Poseidon's involvement in the ill-fated Battle of Betazed.

"Computer, lights." The Chief Counsellor vocalised as best she could through parched lips. The room became illuminated softly, and things started to take form. The trunks that still contained most of her belongings occupied one end of the room - three stacked on top of each other, each emblazoned with the Starfleet emblem - as she had been focused far more on her work in recent days, as was often the case. Her only belongings that gave any semblance of this being her space were the violin that sat on a stand occupying her bedside table, and then different forms of her clothing kept neatly in separate parts of the room: nightwear near her bed, uniform neatly kept away. Rubbing her eyes she swung her legs around and placed them on the ground, digging her toes into the thinly inlaid carpet.

"Computer, time."

"The time is currently O-One-Hundred-Hours." The computer answered. Kana responded with a displeased sigh; it was only two days before the ship got officially underway. Yet she knew there was no point in attempting to go back to sleep, not after that nightmare. She was quickly becoming frustrated by the fact that they were revisiting her now; this is something which she had hoped - seemingly in vain - to have left behind her way back in her Academy days. Clearly, there was still more work to be done.

Standing with a stretch, the Chief Counsellor went over to her replicator and got herself a glass of water to parch her thirst. Drinking deeply until she needed to stop to take a breath, her eyes wondered over to the trunks that contained her personal belongings. Pausing for a moment, as if hesitantly, she then approached the stack. Laying her hand on top of the first one, brushing her hand over the Starfleet emblem, Kana's mind flooded with other past memories...

==============

"Out of the question!" Came the harsh thoughts of the Shakura Matriarch, scoffing at her young daughter who stood across from her at the other end of the table as she enjoyed her midday meal. A Hupyrian manservant rang a gong each time Proxima Shakura paused between each mouthful, in thanks to the deities of the Betazoid pantheon.

"Mother!" The young, late adolescent Kana thought despondently. "They say my grades put me at the top of their desired list of candidates; they approached me about joining the Academy. Do you know how much of an honour that is? I thought you would be proud for your daughter to have such recognition. Surely it would reflect well on our house?"

"I said no, Kanaka!" The aged woman's scornful stare manifested through her thoughts as she instead seemed more interested in eating her food and enjoying the view outside then acknowledging Kana directly. While her face was weathered and almost emotionless, her daughters was bright and full of frustration.

"Why do you always rebuff my opportunities, mother?" Kana asked, a tinge of heartache ringing through her thoughts. Kana was sure the old woman winced a little.

"Child, you should be grateful. I have ensured your good upbringing which now finds you in the venerated halls of the University of Betazed. I have given you everything a daughter of the Great Houses could ever wish for. I have conceded enough to you already, what with this foolish interest in psychology. Everything I do is for you, and always has been. Why is it that you must show such ungratefulness?"

The young Kana had still not learnt how to control her temper. "Father raised me more than you."

"And that is why you are so stubborn." The irony was seemingly lost on the Matriarch, from Kana's point of view. By now she had heard enough.

Finally, she bit, and this time vocally. As soon as the words left her lips, she knew the mistake she'd made. "You're terrified of the thought of me becoming something more than you, aren't you?"

The Huyprian manservant was so stunned by what he heard, he missed his cue for the next gong. Proxima laid her fork down suddenly, her head turning, a furious scowl now etched upon her face.

==============

Kana knelt on the floor as she had been rifling through the container, having picked out a few things in search of something. Eventually she'd found it: a holo-photo from her childhood. It showed her, probably no older than seven or eight, sat between both her mother and her father. There was quite a contrast between the two: Proxima Shakura was dressed in a stunning evening gown made to appear like the feathers of some exotic bird, her neck adorned with perfectly shaped diamonds, her long raven hair tied into a bun - one could be forgiven for mistaking her for some form of royalty. Augustus Shakura was much shorter but stockier, and also dressed far more simply: a brown bomber jacket over a burgundy dress shirt with an unbuttoned collar and black pants. His smile was broad and cheerful, Proxima's more reserved; her look more austere.

Such was the dualism that Kana had experienced in her upbringing. Her mother had always wanted her to stay on the tried and true path befitting of daughters of Great Houses; while her father never spoke out of turn with her mother, he also encouraged her to dream big. It didn't always used to be such a horrid spot of contention, at least in as much as Kana was able to remember her childhood, but things changed dramatically after the Jem'Hadar had attacked. The experience had shaken all of them - Augustus having lost his mind near entirely - and things suddenly became much more difficult. Kana shook her head in frustration as she dissuaded herself from digging any deeper into those memories.

"I should call Father before Departure, let him know what's going on."

Packing everything including the holo-photo back into the container, Kana then approached her desk and sat down. Knowing that she only had maybe an hour or so before her day had to officially start, she decided to get a head start and look over her open cases. The Commander and Commodore were the first on the list of her personal PADD, followed swiftly by Lieutenant's Svanirsdottir and Serine. Then there was also Lieutenant Junior Grade Allen. Each of them was a unique case in their own right, but as she reviewed the notes which she had for each one her eyes couldn't help but glare back at the bold name of "GREGORY PALADIN". As the past few days had gone on it had become increasingly obvious to the Chief Counsellor that he was responsible for everyone's being here, and she was beginning to suspect more and more that his choices were more than just on account of everyone's credentials.

It became impossible to ignore as she began listening to a selection of all their personal logs - something she had the right to do as Chief Counsellor while they were in her care. There was an obvious personal connection with Commander Johnson, of which the more she had observed - in particular during the Senior Officers' Briefing - the more she got the impression that Paladin's "father-like" status was more than just coincidental. He was someone that Paladin had personally been grooming for this very role, and despite Franklin's clear uncertainties about his position and general anxiety as the silence of his logs played out, the Commodore had made certain that Franklin was the one sitting in the Commander's chair. "If Paladin had wanted to command the Poseidon he'd have had the commission no problem. Why did he get Starfleet to give it to Franklin? How many strings did he have to pull to hand-pick all of us?"

She remembered how Sydney had told her to be cautious of him. How Freya seemed genuinely uncomfortable in his presence. How, despite his best efforts at times to remain quiet and in the background, Paladin would often find himself explaining things and double-confirming the Commander. It seemed sometimes without a choice, but also sometimes a tad impulsive; as if he had a great deal of stake in the events at hand, more so than they all already had.

"He's more than just a Mission Advisor; he's an Architect. Question is, what designs has he laid and what are we all about to face?" Kana wondered, her mind trying to search for some sort of plausible answer, but for the time being she had none. Yet there was another thing that glared out to her as she listened to the logs of her patients and reviewed her notes; they all, in some shape or form, carried some kind of trauma. While it could all be purely coincidental, she had never encountered such a high number of senior crew-members and enlisted officers all requiring some degree of trauma therapy. She wondered how many more crew members would come forward in the coming days, and if the pattern of similar symptoms - causes aside - continued to appear.

She carried her own traumas as well. It was hard to ignore, even if it was just a coincidence, and she doubted it was something that escaped the notice of Paladin either. Kana had the growing feeling in her gut that a confrontation on the matter was all the more inevitably as they drew closer and closer to the time of departure. "By the Deities, what is happening?"

Coming to the end of all the logs and finishing her own, Kana felt it was time to take a sonic shower and then attempt to call her father before getting on with her day. That had been enough reflection for one morning, though as it stared back at her, she feared it was becoming more of a beast by the day.

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