Conduct unbecoming.

Posted on Saturday July 8th, 2023 @ 9:04pm by Captain Franklin Johnson & Cadet Freshman Grade Nigel Raymond

1,929 words; about a 10 minute read

Mission: The Grand Tour: Part One
Location: Galley , Captains Office
Timeline: Just after Time to tell the Captain.
Tags: The Grand Tour, 2395, Character Development

[ON]

-Outside Galley-

Cadet Nigel Raymond smiled as the sounds of items of food hitting people and furniture reseeded as the doors closed. He had been in the Galley preparing a rather tasty Lasagna with Apricots when a rather angry Lieutenant Stan More charged in.

“ Which one here is Cadet Raymond!” The angry Scot asked.

“ That’s me, can I tempt you to some of my delicious Apricot Lasagna?” Nigel asked

“ My cousin Penny ate one of your Quiches and is in sickbay throwing up her boots!” Stan sneered.

“ So that’s a no then? How about a Cheese and Orange Omelette?” Nigel asked

“ Are you nay hearing what I said ya Bampot! My cousin is gravely ill because ya put toadstools in it instead of Mushrooms!” Stan said

“ Well we all make mistakes. Anyway it was the replicators fault. It misheard me when I ordered the ingredients. Now how about some fine Green Pepper……” Nigel began but ducked as Stan made a lunge for him. Thinking quickly Nigel picked up a bowl of mashed potato and put it in the anger’s Scot’s face.

“ FOOD FIGHT!!!!” Nigel yelled.

As if on cue Cadets started throwing plates of food around the Galley. Nigel started to laugh as dishes of Rice Pudding , Sausage and Potato Mash , Strawberry Blancmange and other dishes flew around the room. Seeing that More was wiping the Potato off his eyes so he could see. Nigel decided to run and hide somewhere.So he left the Galley and charged off into the outside corridor.

Still laughing he ran straight into Lieutenant Commander Perkins who was being accompanied by some security guards. He knocked Perkins to the ground and he tried to flee but was grabbed by one of the guards.

“…..Take him to Captain Johnson. I believe he wishes to have a chat with you Cadet…” Perkins said, getting off the ground.

The two guards dragged Nigel off; he tried to escape but the grip on his arm was too tight. Soon they arrived at the Captain's office.

== Captains Ready Room ==

Sometimes Franklin felt like a Principle in a High School. He had found himself always inside the Captains Ready Room, sleeping here more often than not to stay up with reports and his work load on the ship. He did far more than commanding the vessel, and in fact recently wasn't even able to attend the send-off of the vessel on her maiden voyage because he was too tired. Now he sat behind his desk, tired, sore, and rubbing his eyes. He had word a cadet had caused a food fight below and was expected to talk to him.

His door chimed and her yelled, "Enter!", louder than intended. The two guards entering actually peaked in at their Captain first before moving in, making sure the unusual behavior wasn't because of something else. They dropped Nigel off, then left to outside the doors as they closed. The Captain groaned as he stood, rubbing his temple.

"Cadet Raymond, I take it?" he asked, one eye closed, the other staring at the younger man.

Nigel was not sure what to do. Should he salute or bow? So he stood to attention unfortunately he passed wind at that moment. He hoped the Captain had not heard it. But then again what the heck if he did. Raymond was a human being and humans had these things. Why should he apologies for a bodily function?

“ Sir….Cadet Nigel Raymond reporting Sir….” Nigel said stiffly.

Franklin in fact did hear the release of the flatulence and he did find it rather unbecoming. He took in a deep breath (he was far enough away for that not to be a concern) and waited a moment as the rooms filtration systems would filter out the smell. A few seconds passed and he approached the cadet, lowering his hand and finally stared at the cadet with both eyes. One eye was twitching though, signaling a hard fought battle against something internal.

"Cadet Raymond, I was warned of your unprofessional conduct," the Captain began, "and while there are things that naturally happen, it's clear to me you have very little decorum or care for when they happen. You do realize you joined Starfleet, Starfleet didn't force you to join, correct? Why are you here on my ship? Why did you even try to join? Because if you want, we can sort this all out right now and I can file your resignation papers."

The Captain was not in a good mood.

“ Is this about the Mushrooms? Because it was not my fault you see it was that replicator you should be speaking to that lady in engineering because I clearly stated that the recipe was Shittake mushrooms and it produced Toad Stools well they almost look the same and I just thought it was the replicator after all it does not always get things correct I mean it makes Chicken Breasts look like something that fell out of a Vulcan female.” Nigel said without drawing breath.

"Please stop assuming why you're here before I speak," Franklin warned and chastised, albeit quiet out of character. He sighed. "You're here because you're quite the trouble-maker, Cadet. You've poisoned Ensign McTaggard. Through your careless nature, you've allowed your own mistakes to harm others. How am I supposed to take that with what I've seen today?"

“ Captain I will have you know sir that at the academy senior tutor Smith said my Strawberry and Beef Lasagna was quite an interesting feed my dish was in no shape or form responsible for his two week stay in sickbay and besides if Ensign McTaggard had believed there was something wrong with my Quiche why did she eat all of it? All I have done is add a little sparkle to people’s taste buds Cheese on toast is bland but Cheese on toast with a layer of Avocado and Peach spread on first now that’s a dish fit for an Emperor.” Nigel said.

Franklin was stunned. He gingerly went over to his desk, grabbed a PADD, and began to input something. He then approached the Cadet and handed the PADD over.

"These are your new orders," Franklin stated, firmly. "Your new duty, until our next stop, is cleaning the latrines and showers across the ship. Once we reach our next stop, you will be sent back to Starfleet Academy. You are not suitable for space travel, Cadet. Perhaps office duty will suit you more."

“ Great I can set up a kitchen in toilets. The humidity will be just wright for my cheesy egg and banana boil. But I don’t think my Uncle Admiral Parker will let me go back to the academy though. Once my mother hears she will nag him till his ears bleed. I’ll be back on another ship in the sizzle of a blueberry and bacon pancake. So why inflict me on another vessel. I could stay here and believe me sir your taste buds will love you forever. I have these recipes going on in my head. That there is a danger my ears will bleed from all the excitement of bringing such wonders as strawberry and cauliflower surprise or haddock and raspberry fool. Doesn’t your mouth water in excitement to sir?” Nigel said

Franklin almost barfed in his mouth. He called the security in.

"Confine this one to quarters until our next stop, then escort them off my ship!" he demanded.

Nigel seemed to flop to the ground as the security guards came up to him. Suddenly he grove up his fist catching one of them in the groin. As the guard doubled over Nigel grabbed his phaser and fiddled with the controls.

“ Ha ha! Now I know the Poseidons computer won’t allow me to fire this. But set it to explode is a different matter sir. So as my mother will nag everyone including me to death. All I have to do is press this button and the Poseidon gets an awfully big hole in her. Sir I want you to write out an order preventing me from being taken off the ship. You will also make it so even you cannot countermand it. Do it or I will blow us all to Kronos….Earth…..” Nigel said

Surprised by the sudden display of intelligence, the Captain instead opted to test the waters on the previous stupidity he observed. He nodded, calmly, looking to make sure the Security Guard - who was keeled over prone - was okay. Noticing his breathing, the Captain approached, confident as he placed his hands behind his back.

"Alright, Cadet," Franklin said, looking at the Security Guard who manage to glint the Captain's hintful gaze. "Since I am your prisoner, tell me your full demands. I need details."

The Security Guard slowly began to recover, but showed no outward signs of it.

“ Ok….ok….ok…..I wish to stay on the Poseidon and finish my Chef course. Chef course. Pure and simple. Pure and simple. Now I know some of my recipes may not be palatable palatable. I will address that matter matter but I must must finish my my course. Get my mother off my back. She has interfered with my life enough. Forcing me to study to to be an engineer. You must follow in Great Uncle Teds footsteps Chief Engineer of the USS Melbourne until he died at Wolf 359. Well they say died but we all know he got turned into a Borg Drone. Getting sidetracked getting sidetracked. Please Captain I must finish my course….” Nigel said.

The Captain kept eye contact with the Security Guard every few seconds as he give subtle hints to their plan of action.

"Okay, Cadet," the Captain replied, cautiously. Hands raising. "You can have it. Just after you tie your shoes..."

He gave the Security Guard the eye that when the Cadet would look down, to jump.

Raymond looked down and the guard lunged forward. The phaser was out of the deranged Cadets hand in moments. The other guard angry at being first surprised then injured hit Raymond in the chest. Knocking all the air out of the young man who fell on his face.

Now unarmed and hurt Nigel became to cry.

“ You hurt me. I just wish to stay please let me stay don’t send me back to my mother she will make my life hell she will , please Captain please Captain please Captain I want to stay. I want to stay please Captain don’t send me back to my mother please I’ll be good, I’ll do good recipes. Cheese on toast , Macaroni Cheese , Roast Turkey with all the trimmings , Roasted Duck , Cheese and Onion mini Quiches with crunchy Green salad. Please let me stay……” Nigel cried.

The Captain quickly lunged and grabbed the phaser that was dropped, rolling up to aim it before he realized the Security Detail had it under control. He sighed, watching the Cadet devolve in squabbling tears. He shook his head, standing straight and straightening his uniform.

"Get this child to the brig," he ordered.

“ Noooooooooooo!!!!!” Nigel cried as the guards led him away.

Franklin watched the scene briefly before turning away and back to his desk. His doors closed as the sounds of Nigel's screams faded. He grumbled, rubbing a hand through his hair.

"I hope they're not all like this," he mumbled to himself.

----------

[OFF]

Cadet Nigel Raymond
Chef/Engineer
USS Poseidon

&

Captain Franklin Johnson
Commanding Officer
USS Poseidon

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