[Backlog] What Lies Below the Surface

Posted on Monday September 2nd, 2019 @ 2:57am by Commander Kanaka Shakura & Lieutenant Commander Canaan Serine

3,556 words; about a 18 minute read

Mission: Departure and Trial Run
Location: USS Poseidon; Counseling Suite, Deck 6
Timeline: Pre-Poseidon Launch; Pre-Departure; Pre-Meeting
Tags: Counselling, Pre-Departure

[ON]

=^= "Lieutenant Canaan Serine, this is a five-minute calendar reminder to report to Lieutenant Commander Kanaka Shakura for your mandated psychological evaluation session." =^=

Canaan dismissed the verbal reminder, silencing it before it could repeat. Standing from behind the workstation, the Lieutenant pulled at the bottom hem of his uniform jacket before pushing the thick locks of stark-white hair from his forehead. He breathed deeply, not quite ready for this meeting.

Exiting his office, Canaan nodded politely to a passing crewman before walking the corridor towards the counselling suite, which occupied the same deck.

It wasn't that Canaan found these meetings unnerving. It was that his career hinged on a sixty-minute conversation of what amounted to 'getting to know you.' Based on that singular conversation, Canaan would either be granted authorisation to continue his work or sidelined indefinitely until achieving more favourable outcomes. It was the unpredictability of it all that was unsettling.

Now standing in front of the doors to the counselling suite, Canaan waited for authorisation to enter, the biometric sensor triggering the melodic chime within, notifying the Lieutenant Commander of a guest.

"Come." A well-composed feminine voice beckoned him to enter. When he did so, he saw the Chief Counsellor sat at her desk, reading some material on a PADD. Putting it away in one of the desk's draws, she stood - standing a whole foot shorter than him, but her physique built and well-defined - and smiled as she looked up at him, her right hand extended out for a handshake.

"Lieutenant Serine, it's a pleasure to finally meet you. As I'm sure you already know I'm Lieutenant Commander Shakura, Chief Counsellor and Second Officer of the U.S.S. Poseidon. Thank you for coming along to this psychological evaluation. Please, sit." She gestured politely to the guest chair across from her desk. While her greeting was formal there was no lack of warmth in her tone.

As he sat, she asked, "Before we get started, may I get you a drink?"

Canaan nodded to the Counsellor, "Ma'am." He greeted quietly, casting a tentative glance at the proffered guest chair. Canaan hesitated to sit, choosing, instead, to glance around Shakura's office. "It's a pleasure meeting you, and no thank you." He declined politely. Whether by nerves or genuine thirst, Canaan's throat and mouth felt parched. He wasn't about to openly offer this information as an interpretation for some twisted, internalised childhood trauma. He inwardly chided himself for thinking so negatively, turning his attention to a piece of wall decor. A drink of water, after all, was only that.

Kana immediately noticed the disquiet in the young Chief Science Officer's hesitation to sit and in the glance he gave to both the chair and the wall decor - which was still relatively plain right now - electing to focus on that instead of looking at her. Still he seemed polite, and the character references on his file said as much. "Must be nervous." She noted mentally. Still maintaining a friendly posture and tone, she continued, "Okay, well, I'll get us both a glass of water just in case."

She went over to the replicator at the far end of the room and had it produce two tall glasses of cool ice water, with a small pitcher in case either wanted a refill. Bringing it back over to her desk and placing them down, she then took her seat, looking up at him with a smile. If he elected to stand that alright by her, though she imagined that once his nerves began to settle he'd take a seat.

"So, Lieutenant: have you had a chance to review your facilities on board the ship so far? I trust they're up to the standard you require?" A simple set of questions, to start things off.

Canaan nodded enthusiastically, "Indeed!" He quieted the excitement by clearing his throat. "The Poseidon's refit delivered state of the art laboratories, equipment, and systems. Speaking for the entire department, I think we're all very eager to test the ship's scientific capabilities." He replied in a more demure tone of voice.

Kana's face lit up enthusiastically as she listened to him speak. "There you go, now you're coming out of your shell..."

"I'm very glad to hear! Are they anything like the facilities you had on the U.S.S. Gemini?"

"Not quite," Canaan replied, "The Gemini was an Intrepid-class with a phase seven retrofitted sensor suite that worked in conjunction with the bio-neural circuitry. The Poseidon has a phase ten sensor suite that works in conjunction with the upgraded power distribution nodes. The nodes will more evenly distribute power flow for additional consistency while the sensors are in operation." Canaan rambled, seemingly oblivious. "Our sensor capabilities rival the most sophisticated starship class in the fleet." Canaan waggled his eyebrows several times, stark-white teeth framed by full lips as they pulled up into a smile.

The Chief Counsellor was glad to see the young scientist finally come into his own, and that was by no mere coincidence. "I see - how fascinating!" Her words genuine; "Prior to my deployment here, I served on the U.S.S. Ganymede in the Gamma Quadrant; ever heard of it? She was a Luna-Class Reconnaissance Science Vessel. While my work is in counselling, I do find science to be quite fascinating. We were exploring the remnants of a few super novae when we happened upon some anomalies. I wish I could describe them as well as you can, but they were simply beautiful."

By talking to him about the subject matter of science, and finding common ground, Kana hoped she'd be able to relax him enough to get a proper psychological evaluation. Yet there was an odd charm to the young man; one which she had missed since leaving the Ganymede. His general shyness but then ability to come into his own with his subject matter suggested someone heavily invested in and passionate about their work; a vital combination.

"Well," Canaan started, rubbing the back of his neck as both cheeks deepened in colour at the counsellor's subtle compliment. "I suppose psychology, in-of-itself, is considered a science." He knew the Ganymede to be a sister class of the Titan, second off the production line for the ship class and famously captained by the infamous Captain William T. Riker. His wife, if Canaan recalled correctly, was a counsellor. "How long were you assigned to the Ganymede?" He asked, curious about the woman who was curious about him.

"I was assigned to her for about three years, being reassigned a few months ago to Starbase 99 prior to my deployment to the Poseidon. I do miss her, but it was time I moved on. Three years seems to be the regular tenure for me so far." Kana mused happily.

"As for psychology being a science, my instructor and mentor used to tell me that psychology was 'the exploration and reasoning of the universe locked inside the human mind' and it's my job to make logical sense of that, just as you do with your work. I certainly consider it to be a science, but even in enlightened days such as these, there are people who choose to reject it."

Having said enough about herself, and feeling confident that she had now reached a point where the Lieutenant likely felt more comfortable, she decided it was time to get back to work. "I read about your work on Arach-VI. What was it like leading a team on such a frontier of exploration? What did you personally take from it?"

Canaan slid into the chair without as much reluctance as he'd shown moments earlier. "The expedition in-of-itself was a success. Our work confirmed the planets' strategic value as a crucial staging point for a backwater colony. I'm told, the USS Hedglen is en-route to initiate phase two." The young Lieutenant combed his fingers through thick locks of white hair as he considered the Counselor's question. "It was a rewarding experience, one I'm exceptionally proud to have been a part of. It was just the seven of us. Inevitably, there were hardships along the way, especially in feeling alone or isolated. Four years, after all, is quite a long time on the frontier. We persevered, however, especially in relying on one another." He confirmed with a nod of the head. Canaan was holding back, trying to shield memories of experiences, both good and bad, that resulted in the team becoming closer with each other. More... intimate.

The Chief Counsellor took a keen interest in Canaan's story as he told it, well aware of his attempts not to reveal too much, but she could tell that from the sense of his demeanour and his increasingly relaxed state that he wasn't be intentionally dishonest or untoward, so it wasn't a cause for concern. She could sense the complicated emotions behind his words, though nothing about them raised alarm; they were all perfectly human. "I imagine it must have been a real growing experience for you, having to lead for the first time under such conditions? Perfect experience for the work we're due to undertake here on the Poseidon."

Canaan nodded, "Indeed, it was. I was humbled at having the chance to work with such brilliant minds and help cultivate their careers. I was blessed with truly remarkable mentors during my short career, it was nice to pay it forward if you will." He chuckled, taking a large gulp of water from one of the untouched glasses. "I'm eager for our first mission, although a bit concerned about the whole piracy angle, especially given the precious cargo we have on board." Referring to the cadets and trainees.

Kana nodded, understanding what he meant. "We were all fresh once, Lieutenant. Some of us might have had an easier induction than others, but I think all of us knew what we signed up for when we joined Starfleet. They'll be as ready as they can be, and the rest is up to the likes of you and I as their senior officer's to help guide them through. From the sounds of things, you sound like the type who is eager to help them in that process."

She then leaned forward, "Would you say you're someone who copes well under stress?"

Canaan didn't immediately respond, considering the Counselor's words carefully. True, they'd both started as greenhorns; everyone does. On the Gemini, he was one of five graduates assigned. The Poseidon seemed to have more than its fair share. If Canaan calculated correctly after reviewing the interdepartmental roster, more than seventy percent of the sciences division was staffed by cadets and trainees. The dynamics felt substantially different than what even Shakura and he may have experienced as freshly minted Ensigns.

She was aware of this, no doubt.

The silence extended, Canaan's eyes intent on the Lieutenant Commander. "I would say I cope as well as can be expected depending on the circumstances." He managed when the silence went on a beat too long.

The Chief Counsellor smiled politely, noting how the Lieutenant had both answered and deflected the question in a single sentence. His answer was confident, but pretty run-of-the-mill, not offering to reveal anything. It was becoming more clear to her that rather than just straight-up nerves, he wasn't fond of being put under this kind of scrutiny. Wanting to keep him open and communicative still, she decided to move on to a different question; they could come back to this another time.

"I imagine you must have had challenging moments on Arach-VI. Was there ever an instance where you felt you were unsure of how to proceed?"

Again, silence followed. Canaan leaned back in the chair, crossing either leg over the other as a wave of anxiety washed over him. Shakura was prying for details about his leadership abilities, that much was clear. Her intentions, however, were not. The Daystrom Institute had debriefed him thoroughly after Canaan elected not to proceed with the next phase of planet colonization. They'd not questioned his leadership capabilities all of the four years he'd been expedition leader. Why now? His pulse quickened as he considered the motive behind her question. "I-I, um, I'm not sure exactly what you mean. What, um, what was the question?" He gently gnawed at his bottom lip, betraying his nerves, faltering in maintaining an air of professional calm.

"There it is." Kana had found what she was looking for. Admittedly it had come rather suddenly, the Chief Science Officer's professional and calm composure slowly faltering, but this was something she had seen before. It was important for her to know what her fellow officers weaknesses were - what buttons they had - if she was ever going to be truly able to support them as Chief Counsellor. Now she had found Canaan's, but it was important to bring him back before he shut down completely.

"It's alright, Lieutenant." She leaned back into her chair, her expression calm and reassuring. "I'm aware that this must not be an enjoyable thing for you. I had to conduct many of these evaluations aboard the Ganymede, and some of the scientists there were just as aware as I'm sure you are about how crucial they are for your work. It's my role here, both as Chief Counsellor and as Second Officer, to help support you in your work. In order to do that though, I need to understand you."

She took a sip from her own glass of water, before continuing. "Your report is already glowing with many testimonials of your abilities not just as a scientist but as a leader. It was your work and your determination that led to the successes on Arach-VI. It's that which brought you here to the Poseidon. I have no reason to doubt anything I've read, but I also know people are much more complicated than just a list of accolades and achievements. I'm sure they weren't earned without struggle."

"So," she concluded, placing her hands together, "I'd like to know how you faced those challenges, and if there was ever a time something seemed hopeless, how you overcame that. I'm not talking about technical or logistical challenges, I'm talking about you and how you felt during a particularly challenging time. Take all the time you need to think on it."

Canaan offered a subtle nod of understanding. The Counsellor was doing precisely what he'd feared. Poking and prodding and prying. These three qualities every scientist possessed. Whereas Canaan applied them to experiments, Shakura used them to root around where she ought not to belong. He chided himself for not preparing thoroughly enough to circumvent the Commander's attempts, he'd been more focused on getting this done and over with, that he'd not considered the subtle ways in which she'd try to glimpse parts of himself Canaan wished to keep private. In reality, what she was asking sounded innocent enough, but past experience taught him there was no innocent question.

"May I think about your question for what I assume will be our next session?" He asked quietly, scratching his nose as he downed the glass of water. Perhaps he could delay the inevitable. Doubtful, he attempted it anyway. "It's just, that, I don't want to answer in haste." He explained.

Kana took a moment to consider what Canaan said with a calm face, not betraying any sort of emotion so as to rile up his anxieties any further. It was clear to her now that, for whatever reason, he was not comfortable being put in this situation. "Perhaps he does not take kindly to intense scrutiny, or such a thing fuels deeper feelings of self-doubt?"

Whatever the case, he seemed genuine in his want to continue talking with her, albeit some other time. This would make for a very interesting evaluation. After what would have been a brief pause for the two of them, the Chief Counsellor smiled again. "You don't trust me, do you?"

Whereas others may have been taken aback by the Counsellor's question, Canaan appreciated her bluntness. Like before, he considered Shakura's question carefully, studying its implications before carefully responding. Like the Counsellor's question, Canaan responded candidly.

"No, no I don't suppose I do." There was no malcontent in his response, yet there was no questioning the unabashed honesty in it, either. "It's difficult to answer personal or intimate questions with a person that I don't know." He swallowed hard, "Your job is to offer an objective interpretation of a person's psychological being based on the answers provided to open-ended questions. But how can one accomplish this if they don't know the other person well enough? What may be a simple idiosyncrasy to one could be grossly misunderstood by another. But if you know me, those quirks would make sense, right?" Canaan wasn't sure he understood the point he was trying to make. Other than emphasising that, at this moment, he was more comfortable with knowing the Commander better as a person, rather than delving into the abundant challenges of his last assignment.

"I'm not sure that made sense," Canaan chuckled nervously.

Kana, still smiling, shook her head. "No, no, I understand. Believe it or not you're not the first one to pose the same question to me, and you were much nicer about it." She chuckled for a brief moment before continuing.

"I do like you, Lieutenant. I think you're a very intelligent, dedicated and driven individual. The testimonials I was able to read speak true of the man sitting in front of me now. I have no doubt of your ability to conduct your duties, and by all means, I would very much enjoy getting to know more about you and your work over a coffee in the Lounge some time.

"However..." She leaned forward slightly, placing her hands jointly on her desk. "If we're going to continue having sessions going forward, you have to trust me to do my job, just as I trust you to do yours. Perhaps then we'll end up getting to know each other more than you'd expect." She grinned, letting him know that while she was being serious, it was meant well.

"I-I can do that, it's just, can we ease into it a bit instead of delving right into introspection?" He asked hopefully.

"Ah, well...I suppose." She joked playfully as she stood. "I tell you what, lets grab a coffee together in the Lounge once we've taken off, and we can get to know each other and our work a little better. I have a deep appreciation for science - my posting to the Ganymede was a little girl's dream come true - so I can't wait to hear more about your work."

Gesturing warmly for Canaan to follow her to the door, she remarked. "As for easing things in, I suggest for our first session we could start off with a little conversation about objectivity and subjectivity?" She teased him slightly as she smiled warmly and took his hand as he went to leave, giving it a firm handshake.

"It has been lovely to meet you, Lieutenant, and I look forward to getting to know you. The Poseidon is lucky to have you on-board." Her words were quite genuine. Despite the Chief Science Officer's scepticism of her work - something she was not too unfamiliar with in her service thus far - he had come across to her as a kind, gentle soul who meant well and was above all dedicated to doing the best through his work. If her experience on the Ganymede confirmed to her one thing, it's that those sorts of people made the best scientists.

Canaan gripped the woman's hand gently in his own before stepping through the door, feeling relief gnaw away the anxiety that once dominated, "Thank you, ma'am. I can't say that I'm looking forward to it, but I'll do my best to try." With a nod of the head, the Lieutenant turned to make a hasty retreat. He made a furtive glance over a shoulder toward the Counsellor before turning the corner and disappearing. The meeting hadn't gone as expected, far from it. However, he appreciated Shakura's agreeing to take a more patient and softer approach to future sessions. True, Canaan was a bit guarded, that much was evident. He had good reason to be, especially after what he had endured on Arach-VI.

Time would only tell if he'd ever feel comfortable sharing what had happened on the surface of the planet. For the sake of his former expedition team members' wellbeing, he knew well enough to stay quiet. Lest the beings that now inhabited their bodies discover Canaan shared the nightmare of Arach-VI with the Counsellor or anyone else, he too would succumb to their will.

[OFF]

“There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.”

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