"I Am Not a Hero"

Posted on Saturday July 25th, 2020 @ 3:53pm by

392 words; about a 2 minute read

Plopping on her couch in her quarters, she broke down crying. Between the award ceremony and the funeral ceremony, she was emotionally spent. Ripping the uniform from her body, she ran I to the shower and let go the hurt, and pain. She cried like a baby. It was not often she broke down but when she does it takes its toll. It was about twenty minutes before she had calmed down enough to get out of the shower and fix a cup of camomile tea and sit down. Thinking about the events, " Computer Open Personal Log and begin recording"

As I sit here thinking about the two ceremonies, I am a bit shocked about the promotion to Lt. Commander. Ok, yes I earned it but not the glory that went with it. I was only doing my job really. If I had died out there defending the Poseidon, ok then it would be a glorious thing. But the way the Commodore put it kinda made me look like a hero! I'm no hero! I am a humble pilot instructor doing her job defending her ship and pilots. Ok sure I had some close calls and so did Amelia but.....I know we did out jobs without thinking of our safety and all that but it is what we understood when we signed in to Starfleet. We lost a few ships yes but not lives thank the gods. Having to talk a few scared shitless pilots down into the fighter deck while flying upside down escorting them in is nothing new to me either. It goes with the job of teaching them. Talking to them after the battle gets them to tell me their feeling's and helps me to prepare them for the next one.

What the Commodore said during the memorial service the it was his fault, I wanted to jump up and tell, "No it wasn't your fault! Not every training ship or mission goes the way it was planned!". I could feel his emotions and it pained me that he took the responsibility on himself.

The Poseidon is a vision of a man who believes that a hands on training ship can work in space and I believe it can. In my eyes he is the real hero for proving that it can work and does!

"Computer End Log"

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