He did what?

Posted on Sunday May 7th, 2023 @ 12:22pm by Lieutenant Stan More & Ensign Penny McTaggard & Cadet Freshman Grade Nigel Raymond

683 words; about a 3 minute read

Mission: Shore Leave
Location: Mess
Timeline: Just before shore leave ends
Tags: : TBD, 2395, Character Development

[ON]

-Mess hall-

To say it had been an interesting few days on the Poseidon since her transfer from the Oberon. Was putting it as mildly as a dollop of French mustard. Firstly Penny had been captured by one of the science department's mascots. Norman a small sentient cactus like plant with flailing tentacles and an amorous nature. This angered his girlfriend Susan, a female version of the same small cactus-like plant with flailing tentacles.

Both plants started screeching at the top of whatever counted for a voice box, in each plant. Viciously flailing their tentacles at each other. Things got caught and ended up being flung around. The Wee One who was already in one of the worst bad tempers she had seen the Chihuahua in. Lept to Penny’s defense but when she tried to pick him up. The bug eyed tiny nipping machine promptly bit her. But on the good side Penny made a new friend in Dr Saint-Pol who helped her out.

She needed some comfort food. Luckily she had programmed her Grandmother's finger cheese and potato finger filled sponges that were noted in the whole of Edinburgh. Into the Poseidon's replicator system. After ordering a plate she sat down with a glass of spring water. In the mess hall to not only calm down but a nice snack. She took a bite of her food.

“ What the!!!” She said as she spat the food out.

It was absolutely disgusting the recipe was all wrong.The replicator had to be faulty. She was on the verge of calling Engineering. When the new trainee chef showed his face.

“ Is something wrong?” He asked.

“ Och there is indeed Cadet.My Granny’s noted cheese and potato filled sponges taste terrible. The replicator must be broken.” Penny said

“ Oh no. I made a small improvement.” Nigel said

“ You made a wee improvement? They taste terrible. What did you do!!” Penny said

“ Well instead of Seriously Strong Cheddar I put in some Camembert instead.” Nigel replied

“ You put a French cheese into a Scottish dish that dates back to the Coronation of King Charles III also celebrating his brother Prince Edward becoming the Duke of Edinburgh following the death of his father Prince Phillip may he rest in peace….” Penny snarled.

“ Well……” Nigel began.

“ A dish that is noted throughout the streets of Edinburgh, the streets of Edinburgh where men still wear kilts even in this day and age. Where thespians fear to tread. A place where they still serve real alcohol, not that Ferengi rubbish. Scotland, home of one of the most devastating fighting moves, the highland kiss!!” Penny said

“ What’s going on here?” Stan asked as he walked in.” The whole vessel can hear you!”

“ Cousin. This this sas…..” Penny began

“ Calm down Pens” Stan said

“ CALM DOWN!!! HE PUT CAMBERT IN MY GRANS CHEESE AND POTATO FILLED SPONGES!!!!”Penny screamed.

“ What’s she so steamed up. I made an improvement if you ask me.” Nigel said

Stan turned and looked squarely at Nigel.

“ Now you listen to what I tell yer. If you ever wish to father children in later life. You will shut that hole underneath your nose. Run and hide before she rips the contents of your underwear out and stamps on it before your very pain filled eyes.” Stan said

Nigel made to say something but seeing Penny’s red face. He turned and fled the Mess hall.

Stan knew seconds counted before Penny went after him. He quickly went over to the replicator. His hands ran over the control panel. Minutes later another plate of cheese and potato filled sponges appeared. Now with the exact recipe his and Penny’s Grandmother had invented. He placed it before Penny.

She took a bite. Then nodded slowly and she calmed down.

“Can you believe that Cadet's cheek? Cambert.” She said

“ Yes. I have a suspicion about him. But for now mums the word cousin.” Stan said.

[OFF]

Lieutenant Stan More
Security
USS Poseidon

&

Ensign Penny McTaggard
Science/Botanist
USS Poseidon

&

Cadet Nigel Raymond
Chef/Engineering
USS Poseidon

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